Ehlingers use team effort to fight diseases that have struck family

By Margaret Krueger of the Daily Times staff
Friday, January 7, 2005 11:10 PM CST

Dr. Bill and Kay Ehlinger (left) and daughter and son-in-law, Kathy and Steve Schleicher, encountered an ironic twist of fate after the husbands had a role reversal due to their respective illnesses. (MARGARET KRUEGER/Daily Times)

The timing seemed right, but neither family suspected how well the timing would turn out.

Not everyone would want to live next to their in-laws, but the timing was good for Dr. Bill and Kay Ehlinger to share a new duplex with their daughter and son-in-law, Kathy and Steve Schleicher and their three children.

Parkinson's disease was chipping away at Bill's physical health, leaving him to spend most of his time in a wheelchair. Bill and Kay decided to sell their large Watertown home where they had raised four children and move to a smaller handicapped accessible place in Watertown. A new duplex fitted into their plans because their neighbors could assist with snow shoveling and other chores.

Kathy and Steve were also looking for a house, having outgrown the home they purchased after moving back to Watertown from Mukwonago. They needed more space for their children, Jacob, 9, Joey, 6 and Katie, 4.

As a social studies teacher in his sixth year at Watertown High School, Steve is very conscious of the importance of family relationships. He said, "Their old house was too much for them and they wanted to build the duplex to have help with the driveway and things like that. As a teacher, I see the trend of breakdown in families across the United States. Since we are their only children in town, we knew we would be the ones to help them anyway so I suggested to Kathy that we move into the duplex."

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During the time the couples worked together planning the duplex, Bill opted to have brain surgery to curtail the devastating effects of Parkinson's disease. After being diagnosed about 12 years ago, he was forced to retire from his dental practice. He later started the Health and Wellness Center, but he was sidelined from active participation because his health was rapidly deteriorating and he was also suffering side effects from medication.

"I really had no option. Without the surgery, I would be either in a nursing home or dead," recalled Bill, 61.

The surgery to improve his coordination is not experimental but it was a leap of faith to believe it would help him as well as it did. "The surgery is only five or six years old, so it doesn't have a long-term history of tracking patients, and it is only done on the toughest cases," Bill explained.

Kay said, "The surgery helped him about 90 percent. Some of the signs are getting worse, but the surgery has improved his quality of life." Although the surgery helped, Bill is bothered because his speech seems slurred and he has to pick his words carefully.

It was done in two phases, with brain surgery in October of 2003 to have a deep brain stimulator implanted. The stimulator was hooked up in November of 2003. The brain stimulator is controlled by two generators. "We thought that I would be in a wheelchair when we moved into this house," said Bill, who now uses his wheelchair as a desk chair for his computer. By the time the duplex was completed, he was walking again and working on lowering his golf score.

Kay extensively researched the surgery and was convinced it would help her husband, even though some people discouraged the idea because there were no guarantees and Bill could wind up in worse condition. "It's a mental attitude and I am lucky to have a wife that understands what we are going through and can talk to others about it," Bill said. "Most people are better after the surgery but not all - it has varying degrees of success."

The couples moved in six months ago, in time for the Ehlingers to give a much needed boost to the Schleichers after Steve was stricken with Wegener's disease in November and nearly died.

"It was an ironic twist. We expected to help them and they wind up helping us," said Kathy, who spent much of her time at Froedtert Memorial Lutheran Hospital in Milwaukee where Steve was treated for a total of 12 days, with four days in intensive care. He returned home the day after Thanksgiving but cannot return to work for three months because of the effects of the relatively rare disease on his immune system. He is also on high doses of medication until the disease goes into remission. His goal is to work part-time and then be back to full-time by March.

"Wegener's is an auto immune disease in which the body attacks itself. I had necrotizing vasculitis which attacked both my lungs and my kidneys. I could not breathe which was very scary. The lungs will come back 100 percent but the kidneys have some permanent damage. I can't be in class because my immune system is susceptible, not because the disease is contagious. I just can't be around the 120 kids in my classes or the 1,500 kids in the school," said Steve, who sent a tape to his students explaining his medical condition.

While Steve was in the hospital, the Ehlingers pitched in to care for the children, reading bedtime stories, helping with homework, meals, transportation, etc. "We are grateful to Steve's parents and everyone who helped, but it was nice that the kids could sleep in their own beds," Kathy said, adding, "It was a huge benefit for the kids to be so near to their grandparents."

The Ehlingers are used to helping with grandchildren, but usually have a bit more notice. They have a total of 13 or "a baker's dozen" as Kay calls them.

"My health was slowing deteriorating, but Steve's was bingo - all of a sudden he was very ill," Bill noted. "My disease is familiar, but Steve's is unfamiliar. My disease is chronic but his is acute, meaning it could cause death."

The family is settling into a routine, with Kathy back to work at M&I Bank. She is currently subbing as the designated snow shoveler, which is much less stressful than dealing with the family's past medical woes. The two oldest kids are back at St. Bernard's School following the Christmas break. Jacob no longer has to help his grandfather walk - he would tap the back of Bill's knee to get his feet started again when Bill's legs froze up and suddenly refused to move. Jacob is now more likely to be playing cards with his grandfather.

"When our door in the hallway is open, he knows I am up for a card game but that may change if he keeps beating me," Bill said with a smile.

The two men have been teaching others about their respective diseases, with Steve saying he was "a guinea pig" at Froedtert which is a teaching hospital. "I was still teaching, but in a different class," he said.

Bill and Kay have met with other families afflicted with Parkinson's disease to give them support and tell of their experience in fighting the relentless disease. Bill has talked to organizations in Milwaukee and Chicago about his experience.

Despite being active, Steve, 39, has gained weight because of his medication. "My face is puffier and I usually wear a hat," he said. "I am thankful that I am alive and I hope to get through this by getting the disease in remission. We appreciate all the support from family and friends, the phone calls, notes, prayers, thoughts and well wishes."

"I believe things happen for a reason and some good has come out of this. It has been a growing up experience for the kids, and has made our family closer in many ways. Bill's disease prepared the kids and taught them compassion, and then we were there to help each other. All of us have benefited in many ways," Kay said.